Getting accused of drinking too much wine after drinking too much wine is crazy because like… yeah, obviously. What gave it away? The fact that I’m passionately defending Cabernet like it’s my child? Or because I just tried to open a bottle with a house key and sheer willpower? They’re like, “You’ve had enough.” And I’m like, “Enough of what? Happiness? Self-expression? Hydration?” Because last time I checked, you can’t spell balanced lifestyle without Cab. Apparently, when I drink too much wine
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When someone tells me I drink too much wine, I react like they just insulted my entire family lineage. I clutch my imaginary pearls, blink twice, and pretend I didn’t hear them because surely that wasn’t a real sentence. Too much wine? What does that even mean? That’s like saying there’s too much sunshine or too many days off. I just smile, take another sip, and say, “Thank you for your concern,” in the same tone people use when they ignore medical advice. If loving wine is wrong, I’ll see you a
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